i know
by mass-destruction
Summary: finished!!! love, betrayal, and finally death... ?????/????? R/R plz!!!
1. i know

this conversation could be between any of the x-men: evo characters. well, not logan or ororo or mystique or magneto, but any of the kids really. its kinda sad, but I dunno. I like it.  
  
  
  
I know.  
  
were you scared?  
  
I'm always scared.  
  
are you scared now?  
  
*nod*  
  
of us?  
  
*nod*  
  
why?  
  
coz you might just ditch me, like everyone else does.  
  
youre afraid of losing us?  
  
*nod*  
  
we wouldn't put you through that. I wouldn't put you through that.  
  
you wouldn't?  
  
no. why would we? youre one of us now. this is where you belong.  
  
I know. its just that-  
  
you want to trust us but youre afraid of getting hurt?  
  
*nod*  
  
why?  
  
every single time that I've trusted someone, every friend I thought I had.. they just turned on me.  
  
we're not gonna do that.  
  
why?  
  
coz we want you here. we need you. you're the one who kept us all together. if you werent here, I doubt that we would be either. we would have given up a long time ago. now we got somethin to live for.  
  
you really mean that?  
  
yeah, course we do. you're family. we love you… I love you. you know that, don't you?  
  
*nod*  
  
and we'll always love you.  
  
I know. and I want to love you too. I want to. and I think I do, but I just don't want to get hurt anymore.  
  
you wont get hurt. we'll protect you. you're safe with us. I promise. I'll take care of you. always.  
  
I know.  
  
are you tired?  
  
*nod*  
  
you havent slept for days.  
  
I know.  
  
why not?  
  
every night im afraid to go to sleep, afraid to close my else.  
  
you don't have to be afraid anymore… im here, and im never gonna let anything hurt you.  
  
will you be here when I wake up?  
  
yes. im not gonna leave your side. every morning when you wake up I'll be there.  
  
I know.  
  
goodnight…  
  
…I love you.  
  
I know 


	2. morning

morning.  
  
"hey"  
  
*smile*  
  
"hey…"  
  
"sleep well?"  
  
*shrug*  
  
"I didn't sleep. I couldn't."  
  
"…oh."  
  
"your dissapointed."  
  
"no-"  
  
"you are. why?"  
  
"I thought.. if I was there… you'd-"  
  
"not have the nightmares? that I'd be okay? that everything would be better?"  
  
*nod*  
  
"…I don't think it works like that."  
  
"what do you mean?"  
  
"you wouldn't understand."  
  
"try me."  
  
*sigh*  
  
" I was alone all night."  
  
"I was here!"  
  
"but you were asleep."  
  
"you should have woken me up."  
  
"no."  
  
"no?"  
  
"I told you that you wouldn't understand."  
  
"why wont you let me in?"  
  
"because I don't to get hurt!"  
  
"what? don't you trust me?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"I would never hurt you!"  
  
"not intentionally."  
  
"I'm not like that! I swear, im not like them!"  
  
"you don't know that."  
  
"What about last night? When you said you loved me?"  
  
"I do love you. but every time I've loved someone I've gotten hurt."  
  
"maybe this time it will be different?"  
  
"no. no it wont. stop trying to understand it."  
  
"but I want to understand. I love you!"  
  
"I know. and that's why I have to go."  
  
"go?"  
  
"yes. go. leave."  
  
"you mean run away?"  
  
"if you want to call it that."  
  
"but you cant!"  
  
"why not?"  
  
"we need you. I need you!"  
  
"if you really cared about me, you'd let me go."  
  
"No!"  
  
"yes."  
  
"if you go you'll be hurting me!"  
  
"and if I stay, you'll be hurt even more."  
  
"no I wont!"  
  
"but I will… im sorry. im sorry but I have to go."  
  
"WHY?"  
  
"because I love you…"  
  
"please! don't go,,, don't leave me… don't… go."  
  
  
  
***************************************  
  
a/n: she's gone! she left! why??? r/r! 


	3. running

A/n: this chapter is told first from her p.o.v and then from his. Who are they? You choose.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Running.  
  
I'm running. Running away from him. Running away from my life, my friends, my family. The only place I thought I'd ever fit in.  
  
Why?  
  
I don't know. All I know is that I have to go. I don't want to hurt anymore. And I know if I stay, everything will go wrong again. It always does.  
  
It's not that I don't care. It's not that I don't love them, because I do.  
  
It's just that.. I don't know.  
  
I'm affecting all of them. and when it got to the stage when I was too afraid to even sleep at night, it worried them.  
  
it worried him.  
  
I could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at me like I could fall apart at any minute, and come crashing to the ground, bringing him and everyone else down with me.  
  
and I could see the hurt in his eyes when I pushed him away when he tried to understand.  
  
he'll never understand though.  
  
and sometimes, I'm not even sure that I understand.  
  
so many questions.  
  
I could tell that they were dying to ask what was wrong, they wanted to help. but I had to push them all away. I cant trust anyone.  
  
I didn't want to get hurt again. like ive been so many times.  
  
all those people who said they loved me.  
  
and then I find out that it was just a lie.  
  
so im runnning. this time I wont get hurt.  
  
they say they love me.  
  
if they love me then maybe they'll come after me.  
  
if they love me…  
  
*********************************************  
  
she's gone.  
  
she just turned her back and walked away.  
  
maybe she thought that we didn't need her problems. she took her problems, but left us with even bigger ones.  
  
she was the one that held us together. the one that we all got up for in the morning. the one that made us realise that we have nothing if we don't have each other.  
  
she was a part of us. she is a part of us. she doesn't realise how much we need her.  
  
we need her because we love her.  
  
maybe I should have told her earlier. that I loved her. then maybe she would have trusted me, confided in me. she knew I wanted to help. but she just kept pushing me away.  
  
what did I do wrong?  
  
I wasn't there for her. I wasn't there for her last night. and while I slept, she was awake, fighting her nightmares inside her head, alone.  
  
I should have stayed awake.  
  
but I didn't, and now she's gone.  
  
and she thinks I don't love her.  
  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
  
a/n: well, wot do ya think? r/r. anyone got any ideas / suggestions for the next chapter?  
  
or possible theories as to who it is? at the moment I havent decided yet, but who knows, maybe if I write any more chapters we'll find out. 


	4. betrayal

Betrayal.  
  
It's been three weeks since I left him. Three weeks since I turned up at their door, three weeks since I became one of them.  
  
And for three weeks I've never felt more alone in my life…  
  
I see them, my family – my old family. I see the hurt in their eyes, questioning, asking me why I betrayed them. And sometimes I see the hate. Hate for me because I've been selfish and left them.  
  
I see him, asking me to come back. Begging for me to return. And then I see the un-cried tears in his eyes when I push him away. He wanted me to come back. He did love me. But after being pushed away so many times, he stopped begging. Stopped asking, stopped loving…  
  
He's here now, standing behind me. I don't need to look to know that he's there.  
  
********************************************  
  
"Hey…"  
  
"…hey."  
  
"Mind if I sit down?"  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"Why are you doing this to yourself?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Why are you making yourself unhappy?"  
  
"I'm not unhappy."  
  
"You are. I can see it in your eyes."  
  
*sigh*  
  
"You always could tell."  
  
"I know… so why did you have to go?"  
  
"For the protection. The safety."  
  
"What do you mean? You were safe with us… with me."  
  
"You know they're more powerful than you are. You know they can beat you any day."  
  
"They can not!"  
  
"Defensive, aren't you?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Defensive. They always beat us- you. They always beat you."  
  
"Yeah? So why did you have to betray us and join them?"  
  
"Because I'm scared of them. And I know I can't beat them."  
  
"So you joined them. Traitor."  
  
"Do you hate me now?"  
  
"Sometimes."  
  
"Because I left?"  
  
"Yeah. What happened to us? Where did it all go?"  
  
"It didn't go anywhere."  
  
"Didn't it?"  
  
"No. I love you. I've always loved you, and I always will."  
  
"Then why did you go?"  
  
"I told you why."  
  
"That's not the real reason, is it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Thought so."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Are you going to tell me?"  
  
"Tell you what?"  
  
"The reason you left."  
  
"no."  
  
"why?"  
  
"Because I don't know."  
  
"Is it because you're afraid?"  
  
"Afraid of what?"  
  
"Someone loving you?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"After everything I've put you through, you still love me?"  
  
"Yes. I always have and I always will."  
  
"They why did you stop asking?"  
  
"You kept pushing me away. I couldn't stand being rejected anymore. I couldn't let my heart be broken over and over again."  
  
"I thought you stopped loving me, when you stopped asking."  
  
"I could never stop loving you… Come back. Please come back!"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Please! If not for you, then do it for me. For us! Please!"  
  
"I'm sorry… I can't…"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I love you."  
  
****************************************  
  
She loves me.  
  
After betraying us all and leaving, and joining them, she still loves me.  
  
She tells me that she loves me, but she won't come back. So I walk away. I turn around and walk away, leaving her there, alone once more.  
  
But she loves me.  
  
Forever. 


	5. no more

no more  
  
  
  
****************  
  
"you don't know what its like, having no-one anymore…"  
  
"..im sorry…"  
  
"no, you're not sorry! you never were!"  
  
"I am sorry. sorry that I ever came near you!"  
  
" why do you hate me? why did you hate them? we didn't do anything to you. all we ever did was love you!"  
  
"if you loved me you would have let me go!"  
  
"we did… and then you went and betrayed us… and now they're all dead!"  
  
"I didn't mean for anyone to die…"  
  
"then whyd you do it? why did YOU LET THEM KILL MY FRIENDS?"  
  
"…because they were the enemy."  
  
"they were my friends. they were my family! they were the only thing I had!"  
  
"…well now you have nothing… now maybe you'll see what its like…"  
  
"I cant believe you… what have they done to you? why are you like this?"  
  
"people change."  
  
"you've changed."  
  
"so?"  
  
"I liked you better before, when you cared about people."  
  
"why should I care about anyone? no one cares about me!"  
  
"I do."  
  
"yeah, well that's just you,"  
  
"youre such a cow! you don't know what its like! I have nothing now! NOTHING! "  
  
"you've got yourself."  
  
"fuck… do you know what its like to find out that everything you believed in is a lie? that your whole life is based on nothing?"  
  
"………….."  
  
"see! you don't! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! WELL, ILL TELL YOU SOMETHING! MAYBE WHEN IM GONE, YOU'LL REALISE WHAT THE HELL YOU'VE DONE!!!" 


	6. aftermath

aftermath.  
  
  
  
*******************  
  
a pale boy with silver hair lies, still and silent on the cold, hard tiles of his bathroom floor. everything that he once had is now gone - his friends and his family are dead - and the one person who he truly ever loved has betrayed him. a pool of dark red blood grows larger beneath him, and a faint smile spreads across his face…  
  
"this ones for you, rogue" he whispers.  
  
then he watches the blood seep out of the cuts on his arm, and smiles as the world fades into blackness.  
  
*********************  
  
far away, on the other side of the world, a gothic girl stares up at the sky for one last time. then she steps forward, and falls into the inky blackness of the night, to finally be with the one she loves.  
  
  
  
*********************  
  
in the cold, dark bathroom, a forgotten piece of paper lies crumpled, held tightly in a pale hand.  
  
"because its better to think about the pain than to think about the anger and the sadness…"  
  
and floating down after the girl, another scrap of paper flutters in the wind.  
  
"… I know…." 


End file.
